Seeing as how my dad is a pastor, I have been a part of the church for my entire life. There are many things that can become old and boring on a Sunday morning after doing the same thing over and over for 16 years… such as listening to my dad for 40 minutes or “putting on a show” for some people who expect my actions to reflect my dad’s actions everywhere I go. I had kind of let these facts rule over my whole church experience not too long ago. I could not stand to go through the same routine all the time and I could not stand living under the microscope that pastor’s kids usually do.
After I realized that I was living for both myself, and the public eye, I wanted to change the way that I looked at the church. One of the major things that I felt I needed to change was the way that I worshiped. Worship was pretty much the only area that I had I had not tried to please others with. It was my “rebellious area” so to speak. It was my objection to purposely not sing, clap my hands or put forth any effort to worship in order to show others that I was not exactly like my dad. It was a simple transformation. I realized that my worship was to be just for God and no one else. This simple fact has dramatically turned both my church and worship experience.
I am now driven to worship my God, solely as praise to him. I have found that I have become a much stronger Christian through this process. Although I have not completely stopped worrying about others thoughts of me might be, I have definitely started to live my life for God both in the church and out.
I think that many people of my generation are driven to worship for this very same reason. They do not want to live their lives for other things but solely for their creator. Most of us who are serious about worship do not want for our singing and praising to just mean something in church. We want for our lives to be transformed through the worship that is strengthening in our relationship with God.
[SeanSid is a blogger and PK who writes at SeanSid.com]
Pingback: Raising the next generation to worship: A PK’s (pastor’s kid) take on worship | Rich Kirkpatrick's Weblog
sadly, being an elder’s son, I felt some of what you described growing up. I developed an edge towards people. I still have a little of that edge that I pull out every now and again against the holier-than-thou’s.
This was great Sean, thanks for sharing your insight here.